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9 Tips to Successfully Negotiate Alimony with Your Former Spouse


No one is ever prepared to discuss alimony, even those who have been contemplating their divorce for months before announcing their plans. “How do I discuss alimony with my soon-to-be ex-spouse after he/she has just found out that we are getting divorced?” many people think.

Yes, discussing alimony with your spouse can be tough at any point in the divorce process. That is why you should speak with an Orlando alimony attorney and utilize specific negotiation strategies to reduce conflict and keep a cool head.

After all, depending on how you bring up the topic of alimony, your spouse may overreact and throw a monkey wrench into your attempts to negotiate a spousal support arrangement.

Contact our skilled family law lawyers at Donna Hung Law Group to facilitate negotiations with your spouse. In the meantime, learn more about the conflict negotiation strategies.

  • Give each other time. If negotiations do not get you anywhere, it might be a good idea to take a break and wait until tempers have cooled.
  • Stay calm. Keep a cool head when negotiating with your spouse, even if you still hold a grudge or cannot stand him/her.
  • Do not put much pressure. Ambushing your spouse is not the right strategy when trying to have a productive conversation about spousal support.
  • Speak about your own feelings. Keep blaming to a minimum and focus on your won feelings. Do not be afraid to reveal what you feel about the proposed alimony arrangement.
  • Listen. Active listening is very important when trying to get your spouse to hear you out, as absurd as it might sound. You want to be heard, and so does your spouse. Therefore, make sure you listen to your spouse’s ideas and concerns, and he or she will surely return the favor.
  • Focus on resolving differences, not creating them. What’s done is done. No matter who caused the dissolution of your marriage, blaming one another is not going to get you far when trying to negotiate a settlement. Being solution-oriented is one of the principles of Collaborative Law. When negotiating, focus on what you are trying to achieve.
  • Be open to compromise. Negotiating means compromising. You cannot expect your alimony negotiations to succeed if you are not collaborative. Use phrases such as “I understand how you feel, but hear me out…” and “I hear you” to show that you are interested in discovering a mutually beneficial solution.
  • Be reasonable in your request. Just because you are negotiating does not necessarily mean that you will get everything you request. Make sure the terms you propose are reasonable. If your spouse makes $4,000, do not expect them to pay you $3,000 in spousal support.
  • Get an experienced Orlando alimony attorney on board. Having a results-driven and knowledgeable attorney by your side when discussing alimony with your ex is key to success. After all, your lawyer knows what it will take to achieve your goals and resolve any differences.

Discussions about alimony can be rather stressful and easily anger you and your ex-spouse. When negotiating a spousal or child support settlement with your former spouse, make sure that you do not do this in front of your children.

Speak with our Orlando alimony lawyers from Donna Hung Law Group to discuss your spousal support case and build a robust negotiation strategy to achieve your goals. Call at 407-999-0099 to talk to an attorney today.